How to Prepare Spiritually for Marriage
A strong marriage doesn’t happen by accident. A strong marriage is built intentionally and spiritually. Our advice for couples is straightforward– before you say “I do,” make sure you’ve built a foundation on something unshakable–Jesus.
Start with Your Vertical Relationship ⬆️
One of the most important truths we share with couples after our first session is this: Your relationship with God (vertical) directly impacts your relationship with your spouse (horizontal).
Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” When both individuals are growing in their walk with God, something powerful happens: they will respond with more grace, listen with more patience, and love with less selfishness.
Scripture reminds us in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches… apart from Me you can do nothing.” When we stay connected to Him, we bear the kind of fruit that strengthens our relationships. When that vertical relationship is neglected, it often shows up in our marriage through miscommunication, frustration, or unmet expectations.
In moments of stress and conflict, pause and turn to God and pray. Invite Jesus into the situation before reacting. Even a simple prayer like, “Lord, help me respond with love and understanding,” can shift your heart posture. James 1:5 reminds us that God gives wisdom generously when we ask.
Understand What Biblical Love Really Is ❤️
Our culture often defines love as a feeling, but Scripture shows us that love is a choice and a commitment. The all-familiar passage 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us, “Love is patient, love is kind… it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” Biblical love is not based on moods or circumstances; it’s rooted in Christ. It reflects how He loves us.
We always say, “practice serving each other now.” This might look like doing something thoughtful without being asked, choosing to listen fully instead of trying to “win” a conversation, or speaking words that build up your partner in front of others. These small choices create habits that will carry into marriage. There is no 50/50 in marriage-it’s each person giving 100/100 to their partner in sacrificial love.
Learn to Pray Together 🙏🏻
For many couples, praying together can feel awkward at first, but it is one of the most powerful ways to build intimacy. We always explain that when you pray together, you’re inviting God into your relationship, which helps to align their hearts with His will and build spiritual unity between the couple.
For couples who have never prayed together before, start simple. Hold hands and pray one sentence each or pray for one specific thing each day; your future, your family, or areas where you need growth. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to bring everything to God in prayer and promises His peace will guard our hearts. Over time, what feels unfamiliar becomes a source of deep connection and peace.
Read the Bible Together 📖
God’s Word gives us wisdom, direction, and truth for every season, including marriage. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Reading the Bible together helps couples stay grounded in truth, grow spiritually as a team, and have meaningful conversations beyond surface-level topics.
Read a book of the bible together or choose a short passage to read together once or twice a week. Then talk about what you read, which is a great way to learn from each other. 2 Timothy 3:16 reminds us that all Scripture is useful for teaching, correcting, and training in righteousness. Reading even 10-15 minutes a day can make a lasting impact.
Build Spiritual Rhythms Now 🏡
Don’t wait until you’re married to start building habits. Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” Marriage doesn’t automatically make things easier; it often magnifies what’s already there. The rhythms you create during engagement, like prayer, time in God’s Word, and honest conversations, will carry into your marriage and shape it for years to come.
Couples who invest spiritually before marriage are better equipped for the challenges that lie ahead. Not because they’re perfect, but because they’ve built their foundation on something unshakable. Jesus says in Matthew 7:24, “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” A Christ-centered marriage isn’t just about a beautiful wedding day; it’s about a lifetime of growing, loving, and walking with God together.
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